Saturday, November 27, 2010

That I may live and love for long in an uncommon way

A few weeks ago, after several days of kid oriented activities, my son asked me if I was really sure of where I came from. I wondered what he meant and nodded while eager to find out where he was going with this and then he said "it's just that sometimes it feels like you're from the world of fun."

Those words meant and still mean a lot to me. Things were not the usual for our household at this time, I was working harder than normal under new circumstances and was quite exhausted. The fact that my son could not perceive how exhausted I actually felt meant that I was doing something right and I suddenly had enough energy boost to do more. Words carried me and I was able to get through my to-do list for that time.

As humans, we like setting and working towards goals. We get reflective in the weeks before a New Year in preparation for what's ahead even as we plan parties. We celebrate milestones, pat ourselves at the back for things well done and when we miss the mark we purpose to do better next time often after we've beaten ourselves up.

Personally, my new year is in November because it's my favourite month and my birth month. In true human style, I became reflective but I made no party plans. The last year (Nov 09- Nov 10) had been too different for me. I had been stretched in a way that I do not want to be stretched again yet I could not have gained the wisdom I feel I now have without that experience.

My personal and spiritual values had been put on trial it seemed. Having always been introspective in nature, I became more so and there were times I felt like I was imploding. Sigh.

In all these and unknown to me a group where I would normally volunteer had the right words for me on a weekly basis - REST. So, this year, I skipped the party and retreated for my birthday and I had the most refreshing time. I could feel myself fall back into my own skin. I came out with only one goal, to rest and relax in this New Year that I may live and love for long in an uncommon way.