Love is not enough! It may sound impossible to believe but it is true. Many married people will attest to the fact that sometimes there just isn’t any love in the mix and by the way, it is absolutely normal.I mean it will be hard to feel love that moment your man announces that he will be wiping out your joint savings account to fund his sister’s 5th business idea seeing that the 4th one just failed. It will be all you can do not to have an anger outburst at what you know will certainly be a disaster but experience tells you to keep mute even as adrenaline rushes through your body. You know his mind is made up. You’ve seen the glint of determination that appears in his eyes when he makes these kind of decisions. You immediately start planning how to botch the plan but you feel no love that very minute.
You may even feel something close to dislike when he offers no emotional support during painfully difficult times. A husband once said to his wife as she cried during what transpired to be a miscarriage; “water is just coming out of your eyes right? You are not crying.” Try that for insensitivity and crudeness and tell me how love can be felt at that time.
Men possibly have their moments too when they feel no love but dare I say women have it more perhaps because somewhere in the men’s gene is the insensitive and coming up with wacky ideas trait.
What makes it ever so amusing is when one sees engaged couples, newly-weds or those who have been married for a few odd years. You can tell that they have not yet come across the trait, nor experienced any real challenges or struggles. Their marriage is yet to be tested and tried so they feel the love all the time. You smile because you know they will soon have their very own rude awakening.
What makes it ever so amusing is when one sees engaged couples, newly-weds or those who have been married for a few odd years. You can tell that they have not yet come across the trait, nor experienced any real challenges or struggles. Their marriage is yet to be tested and tried so they feel the love all the time. You smile because you know they will soon have their very own rude awakening.
The best part of all however, is that moment when it dawns on you that even though love is never enough in any marriage, it is also indispensable.
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I beg to differ! Though I have not been married for that long, with each passing day in my marriage, I realise that love is the essence of marriage - like the soul is the essence of the body! Without the soul, the body is a mere shell! In the same way, people often liken a marriage without love to a mere shell!!
ReplyDeleteMuch as we dread the trying moments in marriage, they (like every other thing or being in this life) occur for a reason. Fulfilment in marriage is found when we are able to discern those reasons and apply them for the good of man and to the Glory of God!
This might sound like a siren song, but it's nonetheless true: Christ the Man Himself was not spared extreme sufferring, humiliation, torture, curses, etc. Christ used his to save the world! What about urs??
The issue is not whether or not these trials will or will not happen (they will!). The issue is, how do we respond?
Love is the starting block, the foundation of any good relationship. I mean, God is Love, right? If a couple want their relationship to be on very solid footing, they would have to love each other as they expect God would - love without limitation, be forgiving, trusting, patient,kind, etc etc - after all, we ARE created in God's own image and likeness right?
Now when a couple are on the path to this kind of love before marriage (it's not often fully developed before marriage), they are likely to grow and nurture this love to maturity and when those trying moments creep in (as they sure would!), the love will see the couple through.
In all this, never forget: God is Love and if God never fails (HE DOESN'T!) neither would true love!
Take care and stay blessed!!
@Tony did you read a different post?
ReplyDelete@ Tony - Thanks for your comment and all you wrote about love. If I am to surmise all you have said in fewer words it will be 'love is indispensable'.
ReplyDelete@Nonesuch - It did occur to me.